Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
Worried that his children are listless and hypnotized by Earth television, the Martian leader Kimar takes a mission to Earth and abducts Santa Claus, along with two children, to bring Christmas to Mars. As Santa brightens the Martian young from a hastily built toy factory, the sour warrior Voldar plots to be rid of him for good.
Shot on a shoestring over two weeks at a Long Island studio, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a fixture on lists of the worst films ever made and a durable “so bad it’s good” holiday perennial. An early screen appearance by a young Pia Zadora, as a Martian child, is usually its most-cited trivia, and Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffed it in 1991.
Background
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians was shot quickly and cheaply at a studio on Long Island, New York, with a small cast and simple sets standing in for Mars. It is best known today for an early appearance by Pia Zadora, who plays a Martian child and later became a more prominent actress and singer. The film has long circulated freely because of a lapsed copyright.
What to watch for
The film has been mocked for decades as one of the worst Christmas movies ever made, and it earns that reputation honestly: the Martian costumes and sets are cheap, and the plot, aliens kidnapping Santa Claus to cheer up their own joyless children, is played with complete sincerity. Watch it in that spirit, as a piece of so-bad-it’s-good holiday viewing; it was memorably featured on a television show devoted to riffing on low-budget films, which helped cement its cult reputation.
